 For the past three years, I’ve struggled with the decision whether to celebrate the anniversary of my LGSOC diagnosis or the day I was told I have no evidence of disease (NED) left in my body. Why would I celebrate the day that felt like a death sentence and began my life of wondering when the other shoe would drop because I was told the “beast” was back? The first year after my diagnosis, I saw posts from people celebrating and quickly made the decision that I would not celebrate my diagnosis day because it was also the day of my wedding anniversary and hell, no, I wasn’t going to let cancer share that special day. But should I celebrate my surgery day or NED day? What was I celebrating? I didn’t formally celebrate that year, although when I saw a pair of nice earrings I fell in love with, I may have mentioned to my husband that they would make a perfect gift to celebrate my first year post cancer. (If you’re wondering—I wear them often!!! See above photo.) I still faced the conundrum of what to celebrate regarding my cancer, or as some call it, my “Cancerversary.” Part of me was superstitious celebrating—I might jinx myself. Part of me just didn’t want to draw attention to the day, in a way because I was so sad at that time. As I approached my fourth year this past May, my latest scan showed a “suspicious” area. Unsure whether this meant I wasn't in the NED category anymore, I ignored the date and just celebrated my wedding anniversary. I didn’t forget the other, but I still struggled with the thought of “what am I celebrating?”  Like me, a friend who has always celebrated her cancerversaries with a lovely cake and posted celebratory pictures, recently was told of a suspicious area. Similar to me, this information came as she approached her four-year NED mark. Like me, she worried she's no longer NED and wouldn't get to celebrate that milestone. This announcement struck a chord with me. Not at her, but that a small millimeter mass of cells may rob my friend of a celebration! Why are we giving this disease the power to rob us of cake? I’m sick of this disease and of what it has robbed from me. If we call it an NED celebration, we're celebrating No Evidence of Disease—a phrase with the word DISEASE in it. Why don’t we celebrate something in a positive manner that doesn’t make mention of our disease? We should celebrate the day we recognized the preciousness of life. Or the years we appreciate being alive. I finally realized I have a problem celebrating my disease and diagnosis. These are my condition but not worth celebrating. Can’t we come up with a phrase that doesn’t have us look at our disease? I am not my disease. It will not have power over me. I will celebrate the time in my life I saw what was really important. The day I saw that I didn’t have time for negative or toxicity. The day I realized I was really going to live! The day I decided to fight to live! So friends, what are we really celebrating? Let’s find a phrase that encompasses what is worth celebrating. AuthorNicole Andrews is STAAR Board Chair. She is one of the authors of Low-grade serous ovarian cancer: expert consensus report on the state of the science.
4 Comments
Kari Neumeyer
6/21/2024 05:38:12 pm
I feel like "Not dead yet," still works... :)
Lilly Kaler
6/21/2024 06:28:39 pm
Sending my support and prayers.
Kerstin
6/21/2024 07:57:48 pm
❤️
Koko
6/21/2024 09:23:24 pm
Congratulations on your milestone! Wishing you many more celebrations! Everyday is a gift. I was diagnosed 4/25/24. I’m learning patience and gratitude for each day. Leave a Reply. |
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